Jewel of the Momma

What girl doesn't love her jewelry? Unfortunately, as soon as you become a mommy, you realize that your precious one's little digits will be all over your jewelry. I quickly realized that unless I wanted my son to yank off my antique diamond necklace from my grandmother, it better go back in the jewelry box for the next year.

So what's a fashionable mom to do? Well I saw some nursing necklaces in stores. Loved the idea - a chain long enough to give the baby something to hold onto and play with while nursing [and if there are others out there who have babies who love to put their fingers up their mommy's nose, that makes the idea all the more appealing] - yet every style I came across screamed "I made this myself with some beads." Not for the girl who likes to try to feel urban and chic.

And then I came across Momma's Jewels at a maternity boutique on Michigan Avenue. Beautifully crafted sterling silver teething rings hanging from a long sturdy sterling chain. Not only is it something for my son to play with while nursing, but the sterling silver stays cool and is the perfect teething ring. And the bonus, because the rings are on a chain, if you have a child who loves to test the laws of gravity - they can't with this "toy."

The line contains one ring, two ring and three ring designs. You can also pick your chain. I chose the two ring style with the sterling chain (mucho thanks to the hubbish for the great gift!) and I can't tell you how many complements I have gotten on it (especially from non-preggos and non-moms), and how much the little guy loves teething, banging and clanging with it. I ordered mine directly from their website. When I myself yanked and broke the first chain I was promptly sent a replacement - no questions asked. Great customer service! The replacement has held up beautifully. I have been trying to get a coupon code, but being new to the world of blogging... keep checking back for that.

http://www.mommasjewels.com/

[Ed. note: The company does not give coupon codes, but, if you mention my name when ordering by phone or in the comments, they are kind enough to offer free shipping!!]

It's all Greek to me.

It's been a stressful 3 weeks (between the fever, the cold, being dumped by our nanny and now it looks like the little guy is working through his top two teeth... all the while 3 of the 5 attorneys in my department have been at conferences and on vacation and my mother and her friends came to stay with us - mid-week - ... so needless to say, the stress has been ramped up). And as any mother knows, a stressed out mommy can make a stressed out baby. And as any nursing mother knows, a stressed out mommy can lead to a dip in the precious milk supply.

So what's a mom to do? There is always the pain of trying to pick up an extra pumping session (on top of the usual feedings). Mornings are usually best, because that's when most women's milk supply is highest. But if your mornings are anything like ours (on weekdays there is no way and on weekends we fight over who sleeps-in and who gets the little charge for an hour) it can be tough.

Scene: Master bedroom, big four-poster bed. 7:15 a.m (yes, we got past that early morning wake-up - the fever led to a nice new wake-up time of 6:45-7:30, even after day-light savings. Now we just need to kick the new midnight snack - but I'm convinced that's just the teething/cold right now). Saturday morning. Mommy, daddy and baby all lay peacefully, smiling and playing after baby just nursed for 20 minutes.

Daddy: If you change his diaper, I'll take the first hour shift.
Mommy: I hate to remind you, but we have a low milk stock in the freezer, so I need to go pump. You have no choice but to take the first shift and change his diaper.
Daddy: That's not fair. Pumping is like a break for you.
Mommy: Pumping is only a break when it happens at work and I don't have to take a conference call on mute.
Baby: dadadadadadada [Smart kid.]

End scene. Mommy dutifully takes baby down the hall to change his diaper [Martyr.]

So I figured there had to be something else I can try! And what does the Momish love to do? Research, research, research. Everything I consulted (pediatrician, my mom (she is mother to 6 AND a nurse) and the internet (great sites: http://www.kellymom.com/ and http://www.askdrsears.com/) kept coming back to a single galactagogue that women the world over swear by: Fenugreek. The herb is reported to increase a woman's milk supply within 3 days. You can go straight to the herb, take it in capsule form or you can buy it in tea form.

My Whole Foods had 3 varieties. I went with the Traditional Medicine's Organic Mother's Milk. It was the cheapest, organic and came in tea bag form and so I didn't need an infuser (key when I want to keep some in my office). The instructions say that you should drink 3 cups a day and you may see results in 3-5 days. I'm always a little weary of herbs because they are not FDA regulated, so I tried to find the negatives. One side effect that have I read about is that mother and baby's excretions (including sweat) can smell like maple syrup (fortunately we haven't had that -unless you factor in that baby smells like pancakes from his HealthyTimes Maple teething biscuits). Also, because of Daddy's nut allergy, I'm always super-sensitive to allergens and try to do anything to minimize my son's exposure. So I note that fenugreek is a legume. Anyone with a family history of peanut allergies may want to not try this at home. Since our allergy is not a legume allergy and baby has successful eaten peas and soybeans (tofu), I figured we might as well give it a try.

Let's cut to the chase. What happened with my research trial? Well, we have had great success. Maybe it's psychosomatic - but I definitely notice a difference. At peak nursing, during my 3 pumping sessions, I would pump 20-24 ounces. A couple times I even needed to cram a fifth bottle into my small pack. And I have had those days when not paying attention where I'll feel something wet and realize I've busted through the bottle (no pun intended). [I know... my cups overfloweth... my whole life I've cursed/hated/hided/been ashamed by my ample chest - but I now realize their true calling... just a few months ago I was researching a milk bank to donate to... but I digress]. Well... on peak stress day I pumped only 8 - yes 8 - ounces total during my work-day. After one day of the tea (only one cup) I was up to 12 ounces. After 2 days (again, only one cup) I was at 14 ounces. And on day 3, 16 ounces. The baby only takes about 15 - 16 ounces now that he's on 3 meals of solids, so this is fine by me. But then on Thursday, day 4, - I pumped 19 ounces. Bonus. I still have my freezer supply to build back up.... but at least I know that pretty soon I can go back to sleeping in at least one weekend day! (assuming I can trick/barter/beg the hubby to go along with it :)

It was good while it lasted.

I am currently sick to my stomach. Between my husband, my son, and I, in the past three weeks, we have had 3 colds, various viruses, multiple bouts of the big D, 3 flu shots, and the below-mentioned fever. Yet none of these things has compared with the wave of the nausea and overall yuckiness that has come over me in the last 3 hours.

And what has caused this feeling? No, I didn't eat any tainted meat. My nanny, my perfect homemade baby food nanny, my gives me tips about toy sales nanny, my leaves detailed journal entries about the color of Z's poops nanny, my finds free classes and story hours nanny, my does the whole family's laundry and the dishes nanny, my clips my sons nails nanny, my checks out books on sleep training from the library so she can read along nanny, is QUITTING!!! [Truth be told, while she was perfect in many ways, she never really gelled with us on a fashion sense. E.g., she asked if an adorable set of separates from babystyle was pajamas, and she also told me to heed the Lands End sale for outerwear for Z... Couldn't she tell by our vibe that my son would be in an Ugg snowsuit this winter? (I'm still trying to decide on which Ugg... a faux fleece purchased from the Basement (as in Filene's) vs. a down suit purchased from the Rack (as in the Nordstrom's). I gotta find some faults in her, right. Make myself feel better.]

Maybe I'm nauseous because of the shock. Carrie Bradshaw was dumped on a post-it note by Berger. I was dumped on formal stationary left on my dining room table. I didn't see it coming, but I would have at least loved the courtesy of a face to face conversation. I don't see the nanny in the evenings - hubby gets home at 4, she leaves at 5 and the Mommish is home by 5:45/6. So she took the cowardly way out and decided to leave the note when she wouldn't have to see me and we'd have the long weekend (I'm off on Fridays sans nanny) to let the dust settle. But hello - I was home with her all day yesterday (work from home on Wednesdays)... so would it really have been too difficult to tell me to my face? Maybe she didn't want to disturb me while I was working and I should be appreciative I had such a conscientious nanny. [If I can take a break from work to play peek-a-boo and another break to get my eyebrows waxed, I think I can take a break so you can quit in person?] Maybe in this age of texting and IMing, she thought this was more professional (i.e. a Gen Yer who writes thank you notes and formal letters of resignation - see, the whole generation isn't screwed up)? Who knows.

Maybe I'm queasy because I should have known better. You see, she is of the "college-educated nanny" breed. And she went to a good college too. Which begs the question - doesn't she want to do something else as a "long-term" career? So when all of our friends would say, "surely she has other career ambitions besides being a nanny," I just replied what I had been duped into believing just 3 and a half months ago at our interview. Yes, she does want to go back to grad school, but she assured us that she could give us a year and she just loves kids. And in the back of my mind I was thinking, well in a year (or sooner) we'll probably move to the suburbs and who knows if she wants to come with us, so the timing could be great. But you can imagine my surprise when she has decided that she wants to start classes in two months and has decided that she wants to focus solely on school right now. I guess I can't say that I didn't see it coming -- but, I can say that I didn't see it coming only two and a half months after she started working for us (and this was after we accomodated her by making due with generous relatives' help for a month before she could start with us).

But I think what is really making my stomach do flip-flops is ego. You see, I always thought I'd be the dumper... not the dumpee. Yet I was basically told today, "it's not you, it's me." When you are told this, as the dumpee, all of these insecurities start flooding your brain. Were we too messy for her? Did she get annoyed that I asked her to hold my son through his naps this week (survival mode is still technically going on - give me a break - the poor kid is so stuffed he can't breathe!)? Was I not talkative enough in the mornings? Were we not cool enough, PC enough, not pretty enough? But then I realize - for a nanny - she had a pretty sweet gig. If I haven't mentioned it - our son is an easy happy-go-lucky baby. Smiles, laughs, goes along with anything (not to mention a genius). We also gave her free reign of our fridge and pantry. We were flexible with switching an hour or two here or there for the family she works for on Fridays. And the kicker? We even paid her above market! Heck, we were such a good catch - she was lucky that we hired her! Well, perhaps it was the classic relationship killer - the preemptive strike. Could she sense that we might be moving to the burbs and she just had to dump us before we got a chance to dump her (which, for the record, we would have offered to pay her mileage, but we would have understood if she didn't want to drive)?

So I'm kind of pissed and bitter. I have 25 days to figure something out. Maybe the timing will work out and we can make that move to the burbs and have family help in the interim. Maybe I should just quit and this is the impetus I've been waiting for? Yet, while my husband just had the nerve to say, "it was good while it lasted" and "now we have a weekend sitter who knows Z's sleep routine"... All I can think of is that every time they say, "let's just be friends," the friendship really never works...

I need to go lie down. Or throw up.