Survival Mode

For the past week, our family has been in "survival mode," due to the mercury peaking at 103+ upon taking our little guy's temperature. And even after he finally broke his fever, he had a not so fun rash and was just all around cranky and irritable, which is also not so fun. And mommy and daddy were both a little under the weather - so we had an all around not so fun household!

Survival mode pretty much reminds you of those first few weeks home from the hospital (but without the excitement and rush of adrenaline or the maternity/paternity leave). And even though he was waking up at 5:30 before [and of course, the night before his fever hit - he did 7:50 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. -- straight -- while on vacation -- in a pack n' play!!!!], that's nothing compared to his waking up every 2 hours... But, when I asked our pediatrician what will happen once he's well again now that he's nursing all night long again like a newborn (but hello- he needs the fluids), I love that she just reminded me that we don't worry about training, habits, sleep, etc. when we are in "survival mode."

Thankfully we had the help of family and our nanny (who seriously took cared of us plus Z one day we were home from work) and you know what - we survived survival mode.

But I can't let survival mode pass without commenting on a couple of items in our medicine cabinet that are helpful and not so helpful.

First - the winner of the 2007 "Survival Mode" Award for Best Product:


The Medicator by Munchkin.







No, unfortunately, this is not a product for parents to ingest/imbibe when at their wits end while enduring an 8 month old with a bad virus (but if Kitty Dukakis or Britney Spears ever creates a cocktail - shouldn't it be called the Medicator?). It's a handy-dandy medicine dispenser shaped like a pacifier/bottle nipple. The ingenious design has two KEY benefits. 1) Your child doesn't need to choke down medicine from a dropper and b) you can double check your dosage on the markings and not just rely on the dropper (if we measure twice and cut once while doing carpentry - why only measure once when dealing with a delicate situation like giving an infant drugs!). The official word from the company is that it also helps medicine bypass the taste buds so there is less spitting up too.

And here's a bonus tip - we actually have had the Medicator since before Z was born. It was given to us in a gift basket that my sister won for us which also contained a bunch of other cool products by Munchkin (big score!). We've been very happy with everything. You can go to http://www.munchkin.com/ and sign up for all of their promotions and giveaways too!

And here's a second bonus tip. For those of you who are giving your child the Rotateq vaccine for the rotavirus - ours was an oral vaccine. Ironically - at Z's 2 month check-up the vaccine that caused the most distress was this oral vaccine because he just choked it down and spit it up. So at his 4 month check-up, we brought the Medicator with us and asked the nurses if he could take it from that. They obliged and we had a much happier camper all around. Now we bring it with us to the doctor's office every time we go - just in case he needs something.


And now, the winner of the 2007 "Survival Mode" Razzie for worst product:


Vicks Wearable Thermometer











The premise sounds good. Use a sticker to check your child's temperature. You can even use one sticker for up to 24 hours and periodically check the temp. But I don't know what was more uncomfortable for my son - our having to pin his arm down for 3 minutes to try and get an accurate read (too long) or the pain of peeling off the stocker at the end of the day (think band-aid on a poor little sick infant). And to top it off, the print is hard to read and the temp was not even accurate. All around dud in my book.

I'm kicking myself for not forking over the $30 for a nice digital ear thermometer that reads in less than 5 seconds (though proud of myself for getting the guts to finally take my son's temp "that way" all by myself)... maybe we'll invest in that before the next time we enter "survival mode" and I can report back than. Let's hope that won't be any time soon!

We all deserve a little pampering...

There are some fleeting thoughts that we have pre-baby relating to how we want to raise our kids, but no matter how sincere these thoughts are, they just aren't practical for our individual situations. My case in point - diapers. While pregnant, I got really into the idea of cloth diapers. The new models are so soft (they feel just like that baby blanket all the celebri-babies have) and surely it would be so good for the little bum, not to mention our landfills. But it's funny how quickly seeing a demonstration of a shower-head for your toilet can snap you back to reality (I hate cleaning my own toilet - now I'm supposed to clean a baby poop toilet, no thanks).

My older sisters and our friends with kids all recommended Pampers as the most comfy and least leaky of the disposables. So about 4 weeks before my due date, we went out and stocked up on Pampers Swaddlers. We have sinced progressed up to Pampers Baby-Dry. All the while, the Z man has had very limited diaper rash, leaks, spills and up-the-back explosions [for my pregnant friends -- you'll soon learn about these - Jenny McCarthy in Baby Laughs recommends you just keep a scissors handy to cut off the onesie and chuck it].

But still... I have always been so intrigued by more eco-friendly disposable diapers (i.e. the chlorine free, semi-biodegradable variety). So for the last month I have been doing some test-runs, thinking surely this will be even better for Z's little bum and I'll have some eco-cocktail conversation starter should I ever run into Leo DiCaprio or Al Gore. I have tried two "green" brands and you know what? I'm still devoted to my Pamps. Brand #1 swelled so much and got so bulky that Z's clothes didn't fit right and brand #2 got so stiff that Z started chafing -- AND he got a diaper rash. Back to square one.

So today my nanny asked me if we were ready to go back to Pampers full-time (I guess she has been ready for a little while now :). I said sure. She then proceeded to fill me in on a little secret club that-- believe it or not - I didn't know about! The Pampers Grow and Learn Program. Super-cool. All you have to do is register for free on-line, input codes from your bags of diapers, wipes, etc. and you earn points towards free toys and books. Plus, the Pampers website has a wealth of information on all things baby, tot and kid. Check it out at http://www.pampers.com/

I figure, if I'm going down the path of putting more chemicals near my precious son's arse, I might as well contribute to mass consumerism too by getting him even more toys!!

Pumpawumba

Last week I took my first business trip (and first overnight trip) without the little man :(. As worried as I was about Z being without his mommy overnight (he was fine), I was probably even more worried about the pumping situation - where would I pump, would I find time to pump enough, would I be able to store my milk, etc.?? So I took great precautions. I scheduled my flights so that I would not have to pump in a yucky airport restroom, I made sure my hotel had a microwave (for sanitizing parts) and a refrigerator for storing milk, I packed my hands-free nursing bra (hands-down the greatest pumping invention) and I even packed extra bags and bottles in case my cups decided to overfloweth on the days away (schyeah right...). I just tried to convince myself that at least I could maybe get a really good night sleep and I'd barely be gone a day and a half...

Of course, I forgot the #1 lesson I learned while we were trying to get pregnant -- you can't plan ANYTHING. So, as my [bad] luck would have it, a) both of my flights were delayed, necessitating airport pumping, b) the refrigerator in my hotel room was not working (and did I really want someone to come fix it at 1:00 am when I got to my room - alone - and having to wake up only 6 hours later - so much for that good night's sleep), and c) I forgot the battery adaptor to my pump - so now I would be limited to only pumping in places with a power outlet.

But in the words of one of my favorite movie heroines, "I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything." If Elle Woods can get into Harvard Law, then I can salvage my pumping situation. And sometimes, because of our forgetfulness, it forces us to be more resourceful. Had I packed my battery pack, I probably would have relented to just pumping in an anonymous stall in the ladies room. However, sans battery pack, I needed to find a private place with an outlet at O'Hare. I tried sweet talking my way into the airline's club room but a) didn't feel like forking over $75 bucks and b) it was so late, the conference room floor was closed anyway. Wandering aimlessly around the airport I happened upon a family restroom... I took a peak inside and low and behold - there was a power outlet - Score! Ew. Gross. But, score! The good news was that the sink had a long counter, so I could sit on the counter (as opposed to a toilet without a lid) while pumping. And the other good news - Reagan Airport in DC also had a family restroom with a long counter top and a power outlet (and theirs was fancy schmancy with marble - dirty and unsanitary marble - but marble). Sure, I felt bad that I was preventing some family from using the special restroom for 20 minutes - but hey - desperate times call for desperate measures (at it was almost 10pm on a weeknight both nights - so how many families really travel at that time?). The other creative solution - I was so grossed out by pumping in an unsanitary place that on both trips I chucked my milk. Which was fine, b/c my refrigerator wasn't working anyway - and now I had just enough room in my cooler to bring back the other milk I pumped.

It makes me think of the words of that song by Chumbawumba. Yeah, that one that always gets stuck in your head (sorry)... "I get knocked down, but I get up again"... So the next time that you are alone with your pump in an airport restroom, know that you really aren't alone... you have sisters in solidarity (and being part of a familial group should qualify us for those family restrooms :).

Deceptively Jealous

I'll admit it, I've always been jealous of Jessica Seinfeld.


Exhibit A: that house in the Hamptons

Exhibit B: she started her own non-profit organization (http://www.babybuggy.org)

And, now she has to come up with a cook-book to make the rest of us feel guilty about what we feed the kids, called "Deceptively Delicious."

That being said, I've been trying to make a lot of home-made food for my son (read: I leave the nanny fresh organic fruits and veggies and I come home to frozen purees for my son) and it's deceptively easy. The premise of Jessica's cookbook - use those purees to sneak fruits and veggies into all of the other foods we cook and bake - genius.

Many friends have asked how I have the time to make baby food. I don't. But, it really is easy, and all it takes is the right tools and about 30 minutes a week. I like to know exactly what is going into my son's mouth so I only buy organic fruits and veggies (can you guess I'm a type-a attorney). I make the time on Sunday nights, or my nanny helps make some while Z sleeps (and see below... hopefully she will soon have even more time). But a great cookbook, a food-processor and some storage container is all it takes. You can even use the microwave to save time over a conventional oven (just don't microwave in plastic - but I'll save that for a later post :). And anyone who knows me knows that I get almost as much joy in life from a bargain as I do my family (I said almost)... so it's a great cost-saver over jarred or frozen organic baby food.

My tools: 1) The So-Easy Baby Food Cookbook (I did not buy the full kit, as I wanted individual freezer storage as opposed to freezer trays - but the kit would work well too) but the book lives up to its title; 2) A baby food processor (smoother than the blender);and 3) Baby Cubes - small containers that I can freeze the food in.

Oh, and back to that anal thing.. even though I use organic fruits and veggies I still like to wash everything in a good fruit and veggie wash :)

After freezing, the food thaws quickly - via microwave or in my diaper bag when I'm out and about. Simple. Easy. Fresh.

If you want any tips, recipes, or if you are in Chicago and are willing to pay me to make some extra food for you (haha) just post a comment.

Public Displays of Lactation

While I am all for nursing in public, some of us are a little less comfortable than others with being fully exposed in public. [Did you catch the tabloid shots of Maggie Gyllenhaal just whipping it out at brunch? While I'll give her a hearty, You Go Girl!, I'm just not that comfortable in public.](See: http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2007/05/maggie_gyllenha.html)

Fortunately, there are some wonderful inventions that can help modest mommies. And for the record, I've never gotten dirty looks, comments or negative feedback from nursing in public, and I've fed my son everywhere from Starbucks to an upscale mall on Michigan Avenue, many a restaurant and the airport (and take-off and landing for that matter)...

My solution - a nursing cover. My mother recommended blankets, but I found they just did not do the job. And I've bought nursing clothes, but I still feel a little awkward giving a 15 year old Starbucks clerk a peek at an intimate moment with my son. So what do I use: the bebe au lait nursing cover. What I like about it: I love the ingenious top wire device that allows eye contact with the baby (or giggle fits when your little pea is old enough to play peek-a-boo, only at that point he'll also be old enough to play "get this darn nursing cover off of me"...) and I dig that the inside corner has burp cloth material to catch any small bits of spit up. File this one in the I wish I'd thought of that drawer...

Big Babies Don't Cry

Having a child in the 95th percentile for height and weight has its pros and cons. On the upside, a) I now have more defined arms than when I was baby less and had time to actually work-out and b) surely our son is on the path to a college football scholarship (big 10 or Ivy, of course). One big negative - certain products are just not made for bigger babies and the poor guy outgrows everything long before he should.

So, because one of the reasons I started my blog was to pass along all of my insight and extensive research, I thought I'd share a couple of the items that work for the big[ger] set.

1. The Baby Seat - BebePod Plus

We (read: the little man) were given a Bumbo Seat as a gift. But the seat was blue, and ever the perfectionist, I decided to return the gift for a yellow or green seat to better match my decor. I went to a local baby boutique and was told that they no longer carry the Bumbo Seat, but chose to stock the Prince Lionheart BebePod and BebePod Plus. I asked what their reasoning was. The store clerk mentioned something about the leg openings being wider and the seat back being higher. They had me at wider and higher (and I seemed to tune everything else out). [And I finally stopped having visions of the baby's chunky pulkes getting stuck in the Bumbo seat and mommy trying to lift him out but the seat just won't come unattached]. I chose the BebePod Plus, which doubled as a feeding chair for us pre-highchair at 6 months with its clever tray. Another bonus of the BebePod Plus is that both the tray and pommel come off - so it's even easier to get big babies in and out of the seat. [Note: the pommel does not come off in the original version].



2. Convertible Car Seat - Britax Decathlon

There are two words that describe why this car seat won our big hearts (even if it blew our big budget) - adjustible crotchstrap. For a baby who outgrew his infant carrier prior to his half-birthday, we were only looking at those convertible car seats that could hold up to 65 lbs. But, even among the car seats that go up to 65 lbs., we knew that our vertically blessed baby boy was far less likely to outgrow the carseat with a 3 position crotchstrap (and we knew that daddy was willing to pay top dollar if mommy could sell it to him as protecting the family jewels). We chose the Sahara fabric figuring the lighter color was less likely to get hot in a parked car during the summer. We purchased it on-line, pattern unseen, so we lucked out when it arrived and the fabric was a supersoft plush microfiber.

Total Recall!

Yesterday, as I was waiting in line at a big toy store to make a purchase using a voucher we received as consideration for a recalled swing, I was wondering which of the many plastic items I was purchasing with said voucher would ultimately be recalled due to lead paint, or magnets, or small pieces, etc. (and what then would I spend the future vouchers on, as I had already poured through the catalog of toys from this manufacturer and everything is fair game for a recall). It can drive a normally sane (unless you ask my hubby) woman nuts!

My son is just shy of eight months. To date we have been affected by 4 recalls: 1) a travel swing (for which we received said voucher) that was dangerous and could trap a baby's arm; 2) a bouncy seat that was recalled due to a design re-do for a stronger base (by the time we got the new base, our big boy had surpassed the weight max, natch); 3) a convertible car seat that was recalled due to a faulty strap loosener (which also had a fix by adding new parts); and 4) lead paint in toys (fortunately the toy was a train that was above my child's age group, so we only let him watch it from afar so he never stuck anything near his mouth).

As a diligent parent, I'm all for toy and gear manufacturers taking initiative and making their products safer.... I just don't understand why it can't be done BEFORE my son has been using the item?

Fortunately for us, at the moment our son's favorite toys are: mixing bowls, cardboard boxes, cell-phones, remote controls (he's all about the gray and the black) and eyeglasses... So even though we may have to worry about carcinogens and small screws falling out, at least right now I don't have to be as diligent about checking the recall lists.

The sleep train has left the station...

Ferber. Weissbluth. Pantley. The Sleep Lady. Grandma[s]. The neighbor in unit 2 with a precocious four-year-old. What do all of these people have in common? They all profess to be experts in the fine art of "sleep-training." And, with the exception of the latter two, I have read books by all of them devoted entirely to sleep (not to mention a few others on the topic as well...).

And before I indulge you with my story, can we pause for a moment and reflect on the term "sleep training." Sleep. Training. Discuss amongst yourselves. I've always thought sleep was good. But I've always thought training is hard. Training to me seemed like it should be reserved for Olympic athletes, or puppies, or marathon runners. Although we have already been through toilet-training in my household (i.e. I was successfully able to train my husband to put the toilet seat down), it always seemed somewhat ironic that our babies are so adept at sleeping we may have to wake them up in the first weeks of life to eat, yet before they are one year old we are to whip them into shape with some "training." But I digress... [ed. note: perhaps you now see where I got "Stream of Momishness" from?]

So, looking back (a whole two months), my husband and I were pretty spoiled for the first six months of the little prince's life. Sure, he had this thing where his favorite place to sleep was in anyone's arms (a sling got me through his first few weeks of life). But by week 13 of his precious life he was sleeping 11-12 hours a night straight in his crib (ha... I got to win the sleep competition that week in mommy and me class) and while his naps in the crib were sometimes abruptly cut short with a cry for us at 45 minutes (OK... 65% of the time....and ... OK... the other 35% of the time mom, daddy, grandma or nanny was probably indulging him by letting him nap in their arms) he would do 3 to 4 of them a day at roughly similar times. Granted, he was/is a big baby (I try and tell myself that my son is starting early in being in top percentiles), so metabolically, we knew he could do it and maybe that played a role. But, we had mastered the bed-time routine, we had successfully transitioned him from a bassinet in our room to a crib in his own room and we had survived a vacation or two with minimal sleep disruption. Sure, sure, we blissfully ignored all of the warnings to put him down, "drowsy but awake." [ALL of the sleep gurus use that term... too bad one of them didn't have the sense to copyright it...] We just made it part of our routine to rock him and then put him down "limp, but in a deep sleep," and we were in business. But our motto was, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Unfortunately for us, somewhere in the last month, the precious one decided to buck the system. Maybe it was cutting his first two teeth, or maybe it was getting his first cold, or perhaps he's on the brink of crawling (lord help us if he is). But here we are, with an eight month old who has arbitrarily decided to phone the front desk and ask for a 5:10 wake-up call. [Yes, he already uses the phone... doesn't every baby? we know, he's a genius.] And we probably shouldn't complain. It's just that every once in a while 5:10 migrates to 4:30 (and for good measure, once a week he's started to add in an 11:00 p.m. request for a nightcap), AND, all of our tried and true methods of getting the little man back to sleep... GASP... no longer seem to be effective!

So what is the Mommish to do? Living life as a zombie is not working for mom or dad (and although the little guy seems OK for a little while, he crashes and burns pretty easily on the mornings we just can't get him back to bed - so I can sense this sleep schedule doesn't work for him either). In desperate hope to no longer have to single-handedly help concealer revenues go up, my husband and I decided to [finally] sleep train the little one.

So I called my older sister for a pep talk. She recommended Weissbluth's "extinction" method. Like taking off a band-aid -- it hurts like crazy, so do it as quick as possible. She claimed all three of her kids took only 3 days to sleep-train. So I re-read Weissbluth. All along we've tried to use his theories on flexible schedules, routines and making naps and night-sleep a priority. We just haven't yet got to the point where our baby has soothed himself to sleep. And Weissbluth recommends that this is something that a baby needs to figure out for himself. When push came to shove, my husband and I just (bawk, bawk) couldn't leave our son alone to cry alone.

I went back to Pantley. She of the "no-cry" approach. I had all along been trying to come up some sort of hybrid of the two for the past 8 months... I had just gotten lazy somewhere at the ... "put them drowsy but awake" step. But I found Pantley didn't have any concrete steps for what exactly to do when baby screams bloody terror ANY time you put him near the crib and he's drowsy or in a light sleep. And she also encourages patience ... as she notes that he approach may take 30 days (mommy don't play that game).

And then it was like the heavens were opening up to send my manna.... and my googling skills paid off and I came across a book (and a website, and if I could convince my husband to fork over $225, a 45 minute phone consultation) by the "Sleep Lady," Kim West. Her method claims to be gentle, but she does admonish that there may be some tears, but it will be far less and your baby will not be alone. I found the tone of the book and the step-by-step approach to be exactly what I was looking for. Her approach, the "Sleep Lady Shuffle ("SLS")" takes approximately 2 weeks (a nice happy medium) to implement, and involves parental touch and soothing contact that slowly tapers off as the days progress to help your child fall asleep in the crib. (If I were a guest on Oprah, this would be my "aha" moment... all along I've been wondering what to do when I put him down drowsy but awake -only to see him become more awake and overagitated by his own crying. Now, I stand by him, I rub his back, I whisper gently, if he really screams I lift him up calmly and hold him but put him back in the crib as he calms down, and then as he gets more and more comfortable, I slowly back off and let him fall asleep on his own...) The book even has blurbs on early wakers and short nappers.... [But I only have the patience to try to tackle one issue at a time.]

[Note: The Drs. Sears also describe an approach called "Fading" which follows a similar tactic - however I found that their books did not offer quite as detailed instructions. Their books do offer great guidance on co-sleeping and "night-time parenting" as opposed to "sleep-training."]

We are on day 4 and for the most part the bambino has made some progress. He really cries very little, if at all, and he's fallen asleep IN HIS CRIB (not in someone's arms) for every nap and bedtime (big accomplishment). And today he took a nap in the crib at the grandparent's house and fell asleep IN THE CRIB (even bigger accomplishment). Part of the tone that appeals to me in West's book is that it's OK to not do everything at once, and it's OK to be responsive to your child if he needs a little more reassurance at times. So, even though I know intermittent reinforcement is harmful... I just need to be OK with the fact that daddy decided to rock baby back to sleep at 5:49 am this morning after trying everything else under the sun (which had not yet come up at 5:49 am by the way - so no, that's not the culprit (and if it were, don't worry, we already have the black-out shades)... and then he brought him in bed with us....

We'll get there... Progress.... Baby steps... and reminding ourselves that daylight savings is still a month a way, so we only have about 4 weeks until we'll have to start the whole thing again....